Women: We Need Each Other

Lori Vacek

By: Lori Vacek

Do you feel Isolated?
In a time when the whole world seems to be consumed by “The what about me” syndrome; we need each other more than ever. Our drive for technology with laptops, cell phones, cable television, and the Internet in nearly every home, has caused us to be more isolated.

Why do we need each other?
I have always benefited from great relationships with women. In the process of married life and raising children, it’s always wonderful to have some girlfriends you can talk to about the pressures and trials of daily living. I don’t know about you, but I did not get a hand guide on how to do all this. If you were blessed with some good examples of great women in your life to follow, than you may have learned a thing or two along the way. You may have some confidence about what you are doing. Not everyone is so blessed. It is easier to help care for someone else’s children, but our constipated newborn will surely end us up in the emergency room!

Why are we like this?
We women have a reputation for being jealous, competitive, manipulative, sneaky, and covert. And our enemies seem to number each other. I have found myself not liking someone based on how they look. Or, entering a unknown territory and immediately sizing up the competition. The unfortunate thing is we, as women, are so used to this state of being, most of our intuitions about what we perceive is correct. Ladies, we have got to stop! We need each other!

What can a good friend add?

I find that making friends with gals of different ages or walks of life adds a fullness to mine. It sure is nice to be able to call a girlfriend with toddlers when your baby is cutting teeth and has been screaming for three hours. On the other hand, a more seasoned mother with older children can give you some much-needed advice on discipline. I have really enjoyed and benefited from senior gals input on maneuvering the empty nest stage. A very sweet X-ray technician shared the joys of the freedom her husband and she found with the children all grown, after I regaled her with my woes of my baby boy launching on his own. It gave me a new perspective and a positive vision of what’s to come instead of pining over what was. Sometimes just talking about the struggles we have over a cup of coffee with a gal friend can do wonders for our attitude at home. I have launched new strategies, deflated my anger, found I was not alone, my child or husband was not so bad, and even forgave myself or someone I needed to in a conversation with a friend. Don’t discount mothers, sisters, or aunts. The very person you may have despised or offed as a youngster may be exactly what you need to be successful in your endeavors of mommy and wife!

How can I make friends that last?
The best way to really develop lifelong friendships is to invest your time and energy in someone. A good relationship is give as much as you gain. Stop talking and listen (my biggest problem!). Don’t expect one person to be all things to you. Even when you have a good marriage, that’s a lot of pressure for your husband to meet all your needs. We all need friends as well.

Be sure to choose friends of solid character. Advice from the wrong source can be disastrous! I don’t discount failure though. I found my most precious wisdom in my own and others failures. I was complaining about my husbands continued problem of socks under the coffee table, and a dear older woman shared a widowed friend’s story. For years, this widow’s husband took off his work boots and socks, and left them on the living room floor. No matter how much she nagged him, he never changed. She despised this behavior in him. Eight long years have passed since his death, and she longs to see those dirty boots and socks under her coffee table again. I never forgot this lesson. Be thankful for what you have now, and enjoy the best of it while you can. Kids grow too fast and we are getting older by the minute. Most problems grow out of themselves in time.

To My Dear Friends
I’ll end with this…I’ve got some great friends! I am so thankful for every one of you and what you have brought to my life and will continue to. I could not have made it without your support. And, to the women who are yet to cross my path, or who I’ve not had a chance to get to know, I am looking forward to what you have to bring. I need you!

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